The Real Self Series
Abandonment depression is the old pain beneath many defenses, the place where the false self tried to protect the Real Self from being left alone with unbearable feeling.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · June 7, 2026
Read the essay
Recommended reading
A recommended reading feature on Pauline Boss’s wise language for unclear, unresolved, and unrecognized grief, including emotional absence and family complexity.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · June 7, 2026
Read the feature
The Real Self Series
The false self is not a fraud. It is a survival arrangement that once protected the Real Self, even when it now begins to cost too much.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · May 31, 2026
Read the essay
Recommended reading
A recommended reading feature on James Hollis's wise book for the season when old false self survival skills no longer work the way they once did.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · May 31, 2026
Read the feature
Recommended reading
A recommended reading feature for anyone exploring masking, neurodivergent shame, self-erasure, and the slower work of becoming more honestly yourself.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · May 25, 2026
Read the feature
The Real Self Series
Healing is not the same as becoming a more polished version of the false self. It is the deeper work of meeting the pain, defenses, and adaptations that keep the Real Self hidden.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · May 23, 2026
Read the essay
Recommended reading
A recommended reading feature in the Real Self series, beginning with James F. Masterson's foundational book on the Real Self and False Self.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · May 19, 2026
Read the feature
The Real Self Series
The Real Self is not the polished version of you. It is the part of you that can feel, choose, need, grieve, love, create, separate, repair, and live from the inside out.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · May 16, 2026
Read the essay
The Neurodivergent Self
For many neurodivergent people, the wound is not neurodivergence itself. The wound begins when the world repeatedly misreads the nervous system.
By David H. Wever, M.A., LMFT · May 16, 2026
Read the essay